What goes in this spot? Stuff about me? How boring! Is this really necessary? It is. Okay, I suppose you know your business.
Where to begin? Oh! Anatomy! Two eyes, two ears, a chin, a mouth, ten fingers, two nipples, a butt, two knee caps, a penis. I have just described the PR Panda. The reward for his capture? All the bamboo in China. So I have one question, why are you here?
In all seriousness, when he is not eating bamboo and prolonging his inevitable extinction, the PR Panda likes food (not just bamboo, pandas eat apples too, you gotta lotta nerve mister!), music, video games, movies, Star Wars, comic books and wrestling. He finds joy in the little things, like sunsets and people tripping over stuff.
Here, have a haiku:
Panda eats bamboo,
goes extinct waiting….